Kid With Pink Cleats Voted "Most Likely To Be A Virgin" On JV Team

BALTIMORE- Lennox High School captain John Torres revealed the end of the season awards for the 2016 JV sqaud. Once again, Junior Tommy Metcalf was voted "Most Likely To Be A Virgin" for the 3rd straight year. Team consensus was due to many factors including but not limited to: 

1. All Pink Nike Mercurials with at least 4 inches of unnecessary white athletic tape on his ankles. 

2. His false "tough guy" attitude that he shows in all his Facebook pictures. (See thumbnail photo)

3. The three Livestrong bracelets he wears on one wrist. 

4. Asking everyone on the team if they got up early to watch the EPL games on Saturday.

A close family friend of Tommy's reports that Tommy's parents are just thrilled and plan to take him on a cruise to Greece with this 3 sisters as a reward.



Jeb BrovskyComment