Study Finds That Capri Sun Packets, In Fact, Do NOT Make For Legitimate Shin Pads.

CHICAGO- Results from a new 15-year long study by Northwestern University show that empty Capri Sun packets do not pass the standards for legitimate shin pads. Researcher Melanie Pother concludes, "We took 1,000 samples of breaking a 13 year old's tibia with a shin pad on and then with a Capri Sun packet on. After the samples (and the lawsuits) were settled, we concluded that the Capri Sun protected the tibia much less than the leading shin pad." Capri Sun shares are down 60% since the day this report came out. 

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Jeb BrovskyComment